Global warming worriers like Al Gore are missing the many wonderful things that global warming will bring to the world, not to mention the many opportunities to profit from this so-called “climate catastrophe.” Global warming isn’t about hot weather, it’s about hot stocks in your portfolio. A new report tells you the stocks to buy now!
Global Warming is the greatest opportunity for investors in a generation. Some stocks may fall, but others will be headed upward like a the famous hockey-stick chart from the 2001 IPCC report. For just $499.95, you can buy my exclusive 20 page report on the best Global Warming plays that are certain to set fire to your portfolio like Australian brush during a heat wave after a decade long drought.
This report details twenty hot stock picks all with the potential to skyrocket between 562% and 10,873%! Here’s a sample:
Online University Stock Set to Soar!
The people running this little known online university stock are no dummies, and they are ready to cash in on a new opportunity. The reality of climate change has already created a shortage of respectable scientists willing to question it. But rising oil prices and the threat of greenhouse gas legislation continues to increase the demand from hydrocarbon companies anxious to continue destroying the planet to protect their investors. In order to cash in on this trend, this University will be launching a new multi-disciplinary Denial Education (DE) department.
DE students will be able to take valuable correspondence courses such as Philosophy 621: “Missing the Forest for the Trees” and Photography 202: “Taking Pictures of Snow that Isn’t Yet Melting.” Such courses come without such onerous nonsense like exams or learning, and, along with the new degrees the university confers to any student willing to pay the fee, will help the would-be denier into the lucrative industry of accepting the fat payments for lazy research supporting pre-determined conclusions. In the response to the success of computer hackers at the University of East Anglia, they’ve quickly added offerings in computer security as well.
In a sure sign of the strong demand for DE graduates, a large oil company has endowed a faculty chair, while a leading coal miner is helpfully providing student loans which may be repaid in services rather than cash when the budding deniers graduate.
But don’t wait too long! Soon thousands of freshly-minted DE graduates will be publishing papers about how it still snows in winter, and how big Al Gore’s house is to pay off their student loans!
More Sure-Fire Global Warming Winners:
- A Real-estate investment trust that’s ready for rising sea levels. They’re currently buying up tomorrow’s beach-front property at today’s fire-sale prices!
- A biotech firm with treatments for many tropical diseases. Today, the company barely breaks even selling expensive medicine to poor countries, but as Global Warming brings tropical diseases into rich Europe and North America, they’ll be in for a gigantic payday!
- A company rolling up zoos sold off by cash-strapped municipal governments. With species going extinct at a record pace, soon zoos will be the only place to see wildlife. Attendance will soar, and this company will soar with it.
…and many, many, more!
As an added bonus, I’ll tell you about three stocks to short! Like the global seller of saunas which is sure to go into terminal decline because of aggressive, low-cost competition from a competitor that does not need to make a profit: Mother Nature.
Don’t Miss Out!
Don’t let these hot-planet winners get away from you! Everything you need to know to become a Global Warming billionaire is yours for just $499.95! Order now!
You don’t want to be a global warming loser. There are plenty of ways to make money, and if everyone else is worse off, it will be all that much easier to lord it over them with your new-found profits.
You will look back and thank me when you are sipping a Mai-Tai in the cool ocean breeze of your tropical North Dakota beachfront estate.
Disclaimer: This post is not intended as investment advice. If you’re considering basing any investment decision making on anything in this article, you should 1) check yourself into a mental ward, and 2) check the publication date.